Friday, August 21, 2009

before and now

It is very hard for me to find pictures of myself from the first couple of years of Eli's life. There are two main reasons for this, one is that I am typically the one taking the pictures and the other is that I have deleted most of the pictures of me because I look fat. This makes me sad now because there are very few pictures of Eli and I together. I know I wasn't looking my best, but I wish I would have known that there would be a day that I would want those pictures regardless of how I looked.

I am still working on weight loss and making healthy eating choices and exercising but I am really proud of how far I have come. I understand that Sports Illustrated will not be knocking on my door anytime soon for their swimsuit edition, but I can look at pictures of me in a swimsuit and not want to cry.

The funny thing is when I downloaded the pictures I opened one of them and wondered for a minute who the lady was holding Eli's hand, because it was surely not me. I still imagine myself to be fat, and when I saw that picture I was surprised because that person doesn't look like what I imagine myself to look like. I hope someday the outside and the inside can come together and I can start looking good, and feeling good. I think that day is coming.




5 comments:

Shelley said...

I know the feeling of not having a lot of pictures with the kids - and that is just sad. But you look cute in the first picture...and amazing in the second one! Girl, you are tiny!

And you def. should join a gym - I bet you would really like the strength training!

Not Your Aunt B said...

OMG, you are tiny. I'm with Shelley that you looked good before, but now you look amazing! Way to go! And I love Eli's curls.

Hotch Potchery said...

I love that picture of you and Eli at the pool!

DAVs said...

You look awesome!!

creative kerfuffle said...

i think you look great, really. i hope your inside and outside come together : ) and i also don't have a lot of pics of me because i too am usually the one behind the camera.