It is very hard for me to find pictures of myself from the first couple of years of Eli's life. There are two main reasons for this, one is that I am typically the one taking the pictures and the other is that I have deleted most of the pictures of me because I look fat. This makes me sad now because there are very few pictures of Eli and I together. I know I wasn't looking my best, but I wish I would have known that there would be a day that I would want those pictures regardless of how I looked.
I am still working on weight loss and making healthy eating choices and exercising but I am really proud of how far I have come. I understand that Sports Illustrated will not be knocking on my door anytime soon for their swimsuit edition, but I can look at pictures of me in a swimsuit and not want to cry.
The funny thing is when I downloaded the pictures I opened one of them and wondered for a minute who the lady was holding Eli's hand, because it was surely not me. I still imagine myself to be fat, and when I saw that picture I was surprised because that person doesn't look like what I imagine myself to look like. I hope someday the outside and the inside can come together and I can start looking good, and feeling good. I think that day is coming.
Friday, August 21, 2009
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5 comments:
I know the feeling of not having a lot of pictures with the kids - and that is just sad. But you look cute in the first picture...and amazing in the second one! Girl, you are tiny!
And you def. should join a gym - I bet you would really like the strength training!
OMG, you are tiny. I'm with Shelley that you looked good before, but now you look amazing! Way to go! And I love Eli's curls.
I love that picture of you and Eli at the pool!
You look awesome!!
i think you look great, really. i hope your inside and outside come together : ) and i also don't have a lot of pics of me because i too am usually the one behind the camera.
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