My resolution of wearing a bikini for my 10 year anniversary has really helped me get back onto the health wagon! I would say since October I haven't been really committed to eating well, although I have continued to run. I started this journey in May 2008 when one day at work I got on the scale and I weighted 191 (I'm 5'2"). That was the same weight I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my son.
One of the things that still surprises me is I still feel fat. I know my BMI is now in the "normal" category and I don't think anyone would say a size 6 is fat, but I feel fat. When I go jogging I wonder if people in cars passing me think nasty thoughts about how I should probably run faster, or if they poke fun at me for being a chubby girl running (although at 7AM this morning I wouldn't have blamed them because I was wearing purple running tights, light purple shorts, a bright blue jacket and rainbow leg warmers...it was COLD).
I have never in my life worn a bikini and my new goal is really something I'm looking forward to attaining. I think I need to lose a bit more weight, but I definitely need to start working on toning. I think a lifetime of being overweight and a 9.2 lb baby has lead to a mushy stomach. I'm really feeling happy and motivated to have a new goal, and I started 2010 with a 10 mile run so I think I'm on my way to that bikini. I have told myself that getting into that bikini should be the last of "feeling fat" or always assuming I'm the fat girl in the room (Do you guys do that? Do you look around to see if you are the fattest girl in the room? I know it is not healthy but I was the fattest girl in the room a lot of times. Maybe this is a phenomenon of only overweight people).
I'm looking forward to working on my resolutions throughout the year, and I hope to keep you guys updated on my progress. Next up, digging out my yarn and seeing if I remember how to knit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
I look around the room and compare bodies too. I have a weird little system I use, but in the end, I think I find something I envy about someone else (like their small waist or toned arms or whatever) and get all insecure about myself. I hate it, but it's almost second nature, I almost don't even realize I am doing it.
If you find how to tone a tummy post baby, please post. Mine is still jiggly mcflabby. All the way around to my back. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Why did I get back fat when I was pregnant? Sigh.
You are one of my role models because you have continued to exercise and are running such long distances (at a fast pace too) which is AWESOME! I think you'll look fabulous in your bikini!
I always compare. ALWAYS.
And then, I drag Mr. LC into it with the familiar "Does she have my body?" I think I ask that because I have completely lost the ability to be objective about my own appearance. I see the 'stout' girl in the mirror--the one with the muscular legs, NOT the sister with the long lean legs. See? That was something my Dad said to me when I was, oh, 8. And it has STUCK. STUCK STUCK STUCK.
And you rock for 10 miles. I haven't run 10 miles in ages.
Size 6? That does not sound fat to me! Of course, fat is just a feeling.
What a great goal. I secretly want to wear a binkini this June. We'll see...
I was absolutely the fattest person skiing, but I told myself---Hey...I AM skiing. I went to Body Pump for the first time since May and I think I will be very sore tomorrow. Maybe you could come with some afternoon?
i always look at the other people in the room. and if the thinner-than-me people outnumber the fatter-than-me, i leave. im aware this isnt normal. or maybe it is?
i dont know if you'll ever stop feeling fat. ive *technically* never been overweight. but i never feel attractive/hot/thin/foxy.(although my hubby thinks im the world, so who knows?) so.....i dont know.
anway...do you have a yoga ball? its great for toning the midsection.
oh, and to go along with lastchanceivf...i always drag the hubby into it. is she fatter than me? do i look like that in jeans? is my butt that big?
and dammit if he wants to have sex, EVER, he better have the right answer.
(i could go on and on here.....)
I play that "fattest person" game with my husband..."I'm fatter than that lady" "No, you're not" - but I swear that I still am. It's hard to get past what you see in your mind. Hopefully by the time you are ROCKIN' that bikini you will see yourself for the slim woman that you are!
I have been maintaining at size 8 for a year and a half now, and I still feel like the heaviest person in the room sometimes. Being 100 pounds overweight will do funny things to your brain LOL! But, 'normal' weight people feel that way too, even if they have never been overweight.
mmm, i think i'm the fattest person on your blog. and, usually i'm the fattest person in the room. i don't think, even if i lost 100 lbs (which is what wii fit wants me to do) i would not feel skinny. and i too could use advice on how to get rid of the jelly roll/muffin top. two kids later things are not as they once were. hell, who am i kidding, they've never been firm.
i really hope you get that fat person out of your head because you've come so far and done so much.
Post a Comment