15 years...are you fucking kidding me?

I got an email today that my 15 year high school reunion is this October. Oh...oh my. I really can't believe it.

I must continue on my way to being skinny and hot (well for me anyway), but does anyone have any suggestions on how exactly I'm going to get rich and successful in four months? What if I have to tell people I moved from NYC back to Alabama and I don't even have a job yet? Awesome. You know what, I'll just show them a picture of the most.awesome.kid.ever. and then punch them in the face and run away, that should do it.


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In regards to jogging... Ashley and HP, I know you guys are right and I need to do intervals BUT damn that is not what I wanted to hear, I wanted you to say that I should probably eat a bunch of candy and try and sugar shock my system into losing more weight...or something more along those lines. I am getting increasingly bitter that I still have to do MORE to keep losing weight, I am hungry and tired goddammit why isn't that enough?

I really need to say that I just don't understand those of you who don't like candy...like you wouldn't eat a package of Skittles OR you just prefer chocolate...if you just prefer chocolate, that is fine, if you can't be bothered to eat candy, well I don't know if we can be friends.

holding pattern

I haven't lost any weight in four WEEKS. I have been jogging at least 4 times a week, but I think all the extra jogging is making me HUNGRY, or at least that is what I am going to use as my excuse. While we were at my sister's house I ate a movie theater sized box of candy A DAY. I don't know how exactly this happened but candy kept appearing, and I kept shoving it in my mouth. I'm not even sorry, it was delicious. I am a huge candy fan..Skittles, Twizzlers, gummy bears, whatever, I love it...give me a bag of sugar and a spoon and really I'd be happy. Teddy really only likes chocolate candy, I don't understand this.

Speaking of jogging I have been really frustrated with it lately. I have been jogging fairly frequently for about 3 months now, and I still don't really like it. I like the way I feel when I'm DONE but for a majority of the time I am actually jogging I'm pissed that it sucks, and I don't enjoy it. I find myself hating the stupid fuckers in line at the Mr. Softee truck because goddamn it I want to be in line at the Mr. Softee truck not running around in circles like some sort of sweaty douche. I don't know if I will ever like it, but I keep doing it, and that does make me proud.

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Since Eli's second Birthday (which was 9.5 months ago) I have been contemplating the big 3 of toddlerhood for our family.

1. Get rid of the pacifiers
2. Potty Train
3. Big boy bed

I have been really hesitant about these things for one major reason->I LIKE TO SLEEP. I am afraid doing any one of these things is going to end up ruining my sleep.

We made a big step last week and we ordered Eli a toddler bed with the Christmas money my dad gave us over Memorial Day (yeah, that is how he rolls). The bed came on Friday and Eli was so excited Teddy put the bed together for him and he insisted on sleeping in it. So far it has actually gone better than I expected. He gets up and wanders around a lot, but honestly less than I thought he would.

The next step is potty training...I honestly have no clue where to even start. We want to try and have him potty trained before we move. The pre-school we have picked out for him wants the kids to be potty trained for the more advanced class, the remedial pee in your pants kids have to be in a different class and I don't want poor Eli to miss out on the fun stuff because he is in the pee pants class.

The pacifier...ahh I don't even know. It is really his comfort item and I sort of hate to take it away before such a big stresser for all of us...I will focus on potty training next and when that is over I'll start thinking about the pacifiers...

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This weekend Eli and I were chilling on the couch watching Oswald and Eli turned to me and put his hand on my check and said "you're a sweet girl."

quitted

I resigned from my job yesterday, it felt fabulous. Today I announced to all the staff I was leaving. It feels great to be out of the closet, since we have known we were definitely moving since February.

I have been exhausted since before our trip, and I haven't been sleeping well, so by 4 PM everyday I feel completely wiped out. I haven't been in the mood to write BUT I have more fun pictures for you. Ashley gave me a GREAT idea and said I should make a paper chain to count down my last days of work. I made one with 44 links, the amount of work days I have left (not counting weekends or days I took off). Teddy took a picture of me ripping off my first link, it was awesome.

what I did on my vacation

We checked out the campus where Teddy will be going to school.

We creeped out the people currently living in our rental house. It needs some love and some lawn maintanence.

We pretended like we were filming the opening credits of Little House on the Prairie.

We went to a lake on a motherfucking boat.

We took some time to smell the flowers.

And we played some rock band.

as promised...

OK, you don't even get the full effect with this picture of the camouflage effect and how the color is Little Mermaid Red.

We just got back from Alabama a few hours ago and we are exhausted, but I missed you guys! I'll show you our family photos tomorrow, I know you can't wait! What's been up with you?

one more week.

A reminder from April 8, of last month....

And today. It could still be better, but the size 8's that I bought to wear to Teddy's show, fit. I can breath, they button, and goddammit I am wearing them.

In other related news, my month of me had a major set back today. I decided to dye my hair a more fun and vibrant color and it ended up looking more like Ronald McDonald. Let me see if I can find the color...


So you see how happy and pretty that girl looks? I look the opposite, I am embarrassed and sad. My hair looks like a blind crack whore did it. Not only are some parts WAY redder but it seems like other parts didn't really change at all. It is like my hair is now camouflage. It is hideous. I will post some photographic evidence tomorrow because I didn't embarrass myself enough by putting up a picture of me squeezed into too small pants.

I can see the light

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I was telling Teddy that for whatever reason I psychologically feel like today marks the beginning of the end of my most horrible job. I have worked here for five (5!) years this month. I started fresh out of graduate school and immediately disliked the job because I believed I had been lied to about what the job actually was, and yet I stayed here for five (5!) years, so who is the idiot now?

Next week I am only working on Monday and then at the butt crack of dawn on Tuesday we are leaving for Alabama (where we are moving OMG!). My mom is going to my sister's house today so she will already be there waiting for us. We are coming back to NJ on the 25th and then I'll be coming back to work on the 27th and the first thing on my agenda for the day is TURN IN RESIGNATION. I am very excited (again, I have wanted to quit this job since the DAY I started, but yet here I am five years later)but I have been having stress dreams for a week now. I think I'm afraid I will try and turn in my resignation and they will refuse and some way or another I will HAVE to work here for the rest of my life.

Resigning is also very stressful for me because it means that SOON I won't have any job. I haven't started to freak the fuck out YET...but it is coming. I just don't know how we will survive if I can't find a job, and Teddy won't find out if he gets his buyout package until the end of June. Because of how several things have worked out we have a feeling like we were "meant" (argh, barf, blech...that sounds so much like my mom, but really it is true) to move to Alabama at this time. I keep trying to tell myself that something will come through and everything will be OK, but I still can't help having mini panic attacks every few days because OMG we will starve (it isn't like my very own sister doesn't live in the town and I'm sure would at least feed Eli so my precious baby didn't starve).

In less stressful news Teddy and I have been thinking of where we would like to go once Teddy finishes school. It is fun to think about, and a lot of times we think we would like to move back here, and sometimes I think a nice beach town in North or South Carolina would be nice too. We aren't fans of the West Coast, and although I think I would like Chicago, I think it would be too cold for me. Does anyone have any suggestions (I have a feeling Austin might come up)?