We are still enjoying luxuries we could get rid of in order to have more going out/food money (really my main vice is I like going out to eat). We have cable, DVR and Internet. I have a new car I could downsize, we spend money on crap we don't need. We have been doing much better on our grocery bills and are typically spending on average around 100$ a week instead of 150$. I said in an earlier post that I'm embarrassed by my current circumstances and I am. I think that coming here for Teddy to get his PhD is a good idea in the LONG run, but now it makes me feel like we made an irresponsible choice.
My dad asked Teddy over the weekend how he felt about being 1/4 of the way done with school and Teddy said he was feeling good, but guilty that he brought his family down here and wasn't making enough money. My dad looked at Teddy and said "don't worry I can help too." HA HA HA. Oh, don't get me wrong I love my dad, and if my arm fell off and I needed money for surgery to put it back on he would help me...and we could set up a nice payment plan for me to pay him back. He is generous with dinners out and well, that is about it. He has never once just offered me money to help out. I know I shouldn't expect him to give me money, I get that, but it is just that I happen to know so many people who have had LOADS of parental help (financially) that I get bitter when I think about it too much.
This is my stream of consciousness writing since I am lonely because Teddy is at his first night of his new summer job. I was left responsible for feeding myself and Eli so I had two sandwiches and Eli had a jelly sandwich, string cheese, and watermelon. Good parenting high five!
Things I still want to talk about:
- jogging in the million degree Alabama heat
- how much money do you need to have that second kid
- my pets and my totem poll of caring
- and MUCH MORE.
4 comments:
OH MY GOSH i so want to bitch and rant for a moment. i get extremely bitter when i start thinking about parents and money. dont get me wrong, like you, i dont expect anyone to do anything for me or give me anything but you know what? fuck, it would be real damn nice. i have friends and acquaintances who've had the down payments on their homes completely funded by mom and pop. or when they cant make the mortgage payment one month, they call dad and he pitches in. for years ive watched this and been pissy that jay and ive had to do everything ourselves.
my dad loves to buy us dinners out and if i need money i can ask him for it but i have to tell him exactly what its for and i have to put up with his opinions about what it will be spent on. everything comes with a price and ive learned that its easiest just to figure it all out on my own. my dads never just offered money to me either and there were many times he had it and i could have used it.
im glad im not the only one feeling these feelings.
ok. im done.
but i want to hear about your totem pole of caring.
Um yeah, I see that crap too. One of my friends is getting married soon at the age of 34, and her parents PAID OFF HER MORTGAGE so she and her new husband could just use that house for rental income. Sheesh. And others have been given CARS as wedding presents...completely unfathomable to me.
Now I will say that the mister's parents gave us what amounted to about 5% of our total IF/adoption expenditures, which was generous, sure, but that was when we told them we weren't going to do IVF and they said they didn't want money to stand in the way because it had worked for their other son (who's was 100% covered by insurance and they knew we had zippo for coverage) and so they wanted it to work for us too. Um, yeah, so then we felt like FAILURES for taking their money and still not producing a grandchild or two. ARGH.
I'm really sorry that you guys are working so hard and still having trouble--it's scary times indeed. I wish I had some actual concrete advice to give, but I don't.
And jogging in the crazy Texas heat is absolutely horrible right now. The only way we're doing it is knowing we are ending up jumping in a lake or a creek, literally.
Looking forward to more posts, as always.
PS Sorry for the hoggingly long comment.
I know the same people as lastchanceIVF and I cannot tell you how grinding it was to know that the people who had a car (a nice car!) given to them as a wedding present also had her graduate school paid for, the down payment, and help with the mortgage paid for too for a long time (years). ARGH!
Now, I confess, my parents bankrolled the trip to Disney (hotel stay & passes) but we paid airfare, food, etc. The reason they bankrolled it is because I would NEVER have gone- it's not in the budget- so if they want us to go, they have to help pay or our broke butts are staying right here. I am lucky that way.
I think dinner was good. We do that all the time. He's not going hungry, right?
my parents and my FIL are the same way. omg. omg. my SIL's parents always help my bro/sil out. not necessarily giving them cash, but they get nice, like new hand me down furniture; they buy the kids' clothes etc. my parents have never given anything (except to my sis). they do the obligatory--let us know if you need anything. really? douche canoes. and my FIL? holy hell. the week after we replaced the hubs' car (because it died) he told the hubs he would have paid to fly him out there so he could give the hubs his chrsler 300 sitting, unused, in the drive. really? why the hell didn't he say that before we bought a car? ass.
i am sooooooo feeling all of your pain right now.
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