Friday, July 2, 2010

two years

Yesterday when I was flipping my calender over at work to July (holy hell! how is it July?) I started thinking about how I had started my weight loss/health journey in May 2008 and now it has been OVER two years since I begun. I am still holding steady at a size 6 and around 135 pounds. I started at 191 lbs and a size 16/18.

One of my recent goals has been to wear a bikini on our 10 year anniversary trip, coming up NEXT MONTH. I bought a bikini, and then I decided that bikini was just too small, I needed a bikini that covered more area if that existed...

I ended up finding one at The Gap that I liked and I ordered it..and well, it's not good. I just started Weight Watchers again and I would really like to get off a few pounds so that I can wear that bikini and not die of embarrassment. I even took some before pictures to show you and I'm just not sure that is going to happen.

One of the things I have thought about a lot lately is the fact that I may have to start lowering my expectations. I am just not ever going to be a tiny person...I think my thighs will always be tree trunk sized and will rub together for ever more. I don't think I'm going to look like a swimsuit model anytime soon, and I'm guessing at 33 my breasts aren't going to magically perk up and my stomach is probably not ever going to be completely flat.

I need to celebrate how far I've come, instead of constantly fretting about how much better it could be.


August 2008 (that's me in the very front...my tiny baby with my sister, and my wack a doodle mother)
May 2010

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

gosh! when i see the before and after it really is amazing what youve been able to accomplish.

ive had to lower my expectations a lot about my body within the past few years. i want to look a certain way, but ive come to the conclusion that it just isnt maintainable without constant exercise and a super strict diet. i dont mind excercise and healthy eating, but i want to live too.

i have a few bikinis and honestly, its a rare day i feel totally comfortable in them. i dont think i'll EVER be one of those chicks who walks down the beach in a two piece, total secure in her body.

have you tried the bikini top plus board shorts? its whats always worked best for me. i like to have that pesky bottom half covered up.

:)

lastchanceivf said...

You look so good! Posting those before and after pics is so telling about how far you have come.

I hear you on the leg thing--I seriously doubt I will ever be completely satisfied with my legs. They're short and the word 'stout' comes to mind--and stout isn't a word I want used anywhere around my legs.

BUT...when I feel down about them I try to remind myself that they're also strong--they can carry me on trail runs and bike rides and I can walk (something more and more precious to me since watching my Dad lose all his mobility). It helps with perspective, but I still wish I had thinner thighs. I wear board shorts over my bikini--that helps too.

You look so cute in that picture--look how tightly Teddy is squeezing you!

Anonymous said...

You look amazing!

Shelley said...

Look at how your husband can wrap his arms around you now! And I have to say it...you look so much younger, too! You have not only lost a lot of weight, you've done the nearly impossible task of keeping it off - and that is something to be very proud of!

I have the same issues with my legs - they are still hefty in the thighs - what is up with that?!? File under life: Not Fair. Wear your bikini - I'll bet you will be the best looking chick on the beach!

creative kerfuffle said...

you look wonderful! the fact that you've kept it off is the best thing. i don't think women in general are every truly happy w/ their bodies, at least not completely. wear your bikini! enjoy!