I think about food all.the.time. No really. You probably think I'm exaggerating but I really do. I like to plan out all the things I'm going to eat in a day and if I know I'm going out to eat I'll look at the menu online to decide what I want so I can think about it before we go there. I think about breakfast when I eat dinner, lunch when I eat breakfast, and dinner when I eat lunch.
I love candy and sweets. If someone brings a box of donuts to work I will go in the break room several times just to LOOK at the donuts, then I'll go around and ask people if they ate the donuts and ask how they tasted. I like to look in the snack machine and think about what snack I would get, if I were to get a snack. I like to plan "parties" around eating lots of food. Easter to me? Candy day.
I obviously have relationship issues with food and yet when someone suggested to me I have an eating disorder, I was....surprised and then more interested.
I work in the mental health field, and have for some time, and it is not uncommon to sit around with your co workers and talk about your various issues/anxieties/eccentricities and diagnose each other and discuss what kind of good meds you may or may not have in your medicine cabinet.
A few days ago we were standing around work talking, and someone had delivered some food baskets to go to needy families. I peeked in the basket and saw a box of Girl Scout cookies and I mentioned that I could easily eat a whole box in one sitting (and have) and that is why I run to the opposite side of the street if I see a cute little be-pig tailed Girl Scout. One of my co workers looked at me and very seriously said "have you ever gotten therapy for your eating disorder?" I laughed and said no, and said I look freaking awesome for a girl that used to down whole boxes of Girl Scout cookies. We all had a good laugh.
I have thought about that comment several times since it was mentioned and I am not upset or annoyed, it was more that I had never considered myself to have an eating disorder and yet when I really consider my history with food, it seems like I probably do. I guess because I don't throw up, or starve myself it just never occurred to me. I am obsessed with food, and a lot of the times I just don't feel satiated. I almost always feel like I want to eat more and I just rarely feel satisfied with "normal" amounts of food. I think with the amount I run I should be SKINNY but because I like to eat so much I just can't get there.
My friend today mentioned she was feeling upset that that comment had been made about me, and honestly I told her I didn't mind. I have been more aware of what I eat, and how much these last couple of days (although it hasn't stopped me from over eating) and I understand if I would just wait a little while the urge would pass, but in that moment I just WANT the food so bad I can barely stand it.
I still don't have any answers about my relationship with food, but I jokingly told a friend that I can remember once someone in my family having a birthday and we got an Ice Cream cake from Baskin Robbins and CUT IT IN FOUR PIECES and each ate 1/4 of the cake. I think that could start explaining some things....
ETA: I just ate a piece of candy out of the trash. Do you still think I'm exaggerating?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
My family of four did the same thing with a Coldstone Creamery cake one year...I so get that!
I think they are calling it an eating disorder because they are in the MH field. Other people would just call you a tad obsessed ;) - but does it really matter? You have it under control - anyone who can fit into a size 6 dress from Target w/o throwing up on a daily basis is doing great!
Awww, my word verification is cuzzle!
I, too, have an obsession with food. I like to think about it, read recipe magazines, and the mister and I always look at each other and say "good food, it's all we have!" meaning it's our only vice. We love to talk about what we're going to eat, where we'll eat out, etc. The one thing I don't do is think about the next meal while I'm eating the first, but I'm close to it.
I don't have any advice but just saying I feel ya.
i totally get what you're saying.
when i get up in the morning i plan all my meals. for me though, i think it has more to do with the control aspect instead of actual food/eating. when my life is crazy, meals are something i can control.
that being said, sweets and candy are my weakness. i regularly eat very old candy that i find in the car or under the couch cushions. its almost an uncontrollable urge.i dont even think about it, i just put it in my mouth. ive accidentally put marbles in my mouth thinking it was candy.
ive always sort of considered myself as being on the border of having some type of disorder. but im aware of the weirdness so its not at the point where its detrimental.
I have the same disorder. Every night, I think- forget the points, tonight I'm going to wait for Corbin to go to sleep, and then I'm going to eat X, Y, Z. I get GREAT pleasure from planning out my fall from grace, even though I (almost) never do it. I also have another comorbid disorder- whatever the opposite of anorexia is. I think I look like a totally normal person, until I see pictures, and then I'm like- OH MY GOD!!! I'm also a whole-row-of-oreos kind of girl. Quantity over quality? Every time. (Not that I'm suggesting that oreos aren't a quality food- they are awesome.)
um, I wish it was just an ice cream cake...it was a giant sheet cake. AND, that happened the year our parents were okay with their 150 pound teenager losing 30 pounds in a month.
WOW, I never heard of comorbid disorder, but I get shocked daily at my gut.
i regularly eat very old candy that i find in the car or under the couch cushions. its almost an uncontrollable urge.
home based data entry
Whatever. Some people are obsessed with sports, some with shoes, and then there's us....food lovers. Mmmm. I think it is a foodie gene or our taste buds are much more sensitive or we have a sharper visual-taste connection because that's how I feel about food too. You don't even know how crazy it got planning for our trip- googling all the menus, reading blogs about the food served there, best places to eat, etc. My piehole's happy. Everyone else can kiss it!
hey lady..blog world misses you. hope all is well. :)
Post a Comment